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Writer's pictureTheresa Brulotte

Intimacy


What does it mean? Have you ever felt it? Can you allow it? Who or what do you have a close relationship with? Do you need to feel safe to have an intimate relationship? How do you know what’s safe? What can you trust?


I was in Thomas Hubel’s transparent communication practice group. We split into groups of three and do our best to speak deeply from awareness and presence. I found myself in a triad topic on intimacy. I heard my triad mates acknowledge intimacy knocking on the door, saying whoever is knocking on the door feels like an intruder, and they must keep them out. That comment comes from a place of fear. Let’s honour that. But let’s question who and what needs protecting. And is the need for protection currently relevant, or is it from past experience, learned behavior, or ancestral relations?


The most important or closest relationship one can have with intimacy is with self. How deep are you willing to go to get to know yourself? I have been seeking an intimate relationship with the divine my whole life. One could say, looking for love. Somewhere deep in me, I knew this deep love existed. Occasionally, I would get a glimpse or feel of it. It was like the sun came out and warmed me.


In my triad, one of my mates spoke of their intimate relationship with nature. A feeling of safety, peace, resonance, “I could feel the energy of the tree” yes, me too. So why can we relax and feel so at ease, so intimate with nature and not with people? We would all have similar answers to that. The first one is, in nature, we feel safety and nonjudgment.


Let’s talk energy for a minute. Everything is energy. And everything has a specific personal frequency. People say I needed to block their energy and keep them out; they invaded my space. It takes way more effort to block energy than to soften and expand energy, becoming more permeable and letting things flow through. It’s all energy; we can feel and regulate the frequencies. Listen to the deep knowing within; trust that.


Intimacy starts with my relationship with myself, not just in the head but in my physical, emotional, and spiritual being. I noticed myself noticing others that are head-based thinking without deeper self-awareness of self. There is so much more available to live and experience.


The more intimacy I feel, the more love I have on board and available. Intimacy is not a state but a process. A mutually intimate space is free-flowing energy both ways. Can you keep your energy open and flowing even if you are with another who is not available?

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